When to Walk Away — Reflections on Chapter One

Reading Gary Thomas’s When to Walk Away has already hit me in ways I didn’t expect. For a long time, I felt guilty about stepping back from certain relationships. I thought it wasn’t “Christian” to create space, but I’m learning that boundaries aren’t about rejecting people — they’re about protecting peace and keeping aligned with God’s purpose.

Even Jesus walked away. Luke 4:30 tells us He “walked right through the crowd and went on His way.” John 6:15 shows Him withdrawing when people tried to make Him king. Over and over, Jesus modeled that sometimes walking away isn’t a failure of love, but an act of wisdom.

 

Fruit vs. Labels

Matthew 7:16 says, “By their fruit you will recognize them.” Jesus didn’t say, “By their labels.”

That realization has been huge for me. Labels — Christian, family member, friend — don’t automatically mean the fruit will be healthy. Real fruit looks like mutual encouragement, respect, forgiveness, and peace. Toxic fruit looks like control, guilt, or constant criticism.

So when I walk away, I’m not walking away from love. I’m walking toward peace.

 

Family Reflections

This book is also helping me understand my own relationships. For example, my daughter Angela has me on what I’d call a “low-contact list.” At first, that hurt. But I’ve come to see it differently. She isn’t rejecting me — she’s protecting her peace so she can pour her energy into being the best mom she can be.

And you know what? I admire that. Boundaries, even when unspoken, are often about love in action.

 

👉 And here’s the humbling part: we all have people in our lives who drain us — and who knows, maybe I’m one of them sometimes! That reminder keeps me grounded and makes me want to show more grace, not just ask for it.

 

The Church Angle

I’ve seen churches thrive because they were rooted in encouragement and truth. And I’ve seen churches close their doors because toxic people or twisted teaching drained the life out of them. The contrast couldn’t be clearer: it’s the fruit that shows what’s real.

 

My Takeaway

Toxic people don’t just drain you in the moment. They linger in your thoughts, pulling at your spirit long after they’ve left the room.

So here’s the truth I’m holding onto:
Walking away. Not from love, just towards peace.

And if someone needs me, they know where to find me.

 

✨ That’s my reflection on chapter one. I’ll keep sharing what I learn as I walk through this book, one chapter at a time.